A James Bond who touches M's feet to seek blessings before setting out for a mission? One who only shakes (not stirs) his buttermilk? You had better believe it.
执行任务前，詹姆斯·邦德先要摸M的脚祈求保佑？他喝牛奶时是用摇的而不是用搅的？难以置信吧。
Please meet the cleaned up, chaste, well behaved James Bond - trending in India as #SanskariJamesBond - an ironic hashtag prompted by a censor board decision to "cut short" Daniel Craig's kissing scenes in the movie Spectre, which releases in India on Thursday.
来看看这位整洁干净、道德高尚、举止文雅的詹姆斯·邦德——他就是最近印度热点话题“绅士詹姆斯·邦德”的主人公。《007幽灵党》于周四在印度上映，因当地审查委员会删减影片中丹尼尔·克雷格吻戏的举动，公众发起了这样的讽刺标签。
That's right. James Bond in his current avatar, simply kisses too much for the tastes of the Indian censor board, and so they have been reduced in length.
可不是嘛，对审查委员会来说，目前的詹姆斯·邦德的确吻戏过多，所以才遭遇大幅度删减。
Ashoke Pandit, a member of the censor board confirmed that the kissing scenes had been cut, but insisted it was a decision taken in his "personal capacity" by India's controversial censor board head Pahlaj Nihalani.
阿肖克·潘迪特是电影审查委员之一，他证实了《007》吻戏遭删减。他坚称，该决定是由审查委员会主席帕赫拉杰·尼哈拉尼本人作出的。审查委员会在印度一直颇受争议。
"Yes, this decision [to cut kissing scenes] was taken by Pahlaj Nihalani. He does these kind of things. Other shots have also been cut along with the kissing scene. This seems like a joke. If you do this to a James Bond film, then it's shameful," he told BBC Hindi.
潘迪特在接受BBC印地语台采访时说：“是的，这个决定（删减亲热场面）是帕赫拉杰·尼哈拉尼作出的。这些事情都由他决定。除了吻戏，也有其它场景被删减。这看起来像个笑话。对于詹姆斯·邦德系电影来说，这样做挺让人丢脸的。”
Mr Nihalani was appointed to the post in January, days after the previous head of the board Leela Samson resigned amid controversy over clearance to the film Messenger of God, citing "interference and coercion".
尼哈拉尼今年1月上任审查委员会主席。他就任前几日，前主席里拉·桑姆森因对影片《神的使者》的删减引发争议，被指“干预与强制”，因而辞职。
Mr Nihalani refused to comment on the James Bond film and his decision to cut short scenes.
尼哈拉尼先生拒绝对詹姆斯·邦德影片做出评论，也未回应关于他对影片的删减决定。
An unabashed and self-declared fan of the prime minister, he was in the headlines most recently for making a video praising Mr Modi that the Hindustan Times newspaper charitably called a "cringe fest".
此人毫不掩饰自己作为首相粉丝的身份。他最近因为制作了一个赞颂首相穆迪的视频而登上各大媒体头条，此举被《印度斯坦时报》称为“阿谀奉承”，也算嘴下留情了。
Public display of affection is taboo in largely conservative India and kissing scenes are routinely blocked in films and television soaps.
公开显露情感在极其保守的印度被认为是禁忌。电影和肥皂剧中的亲吻场面也通常被屏蔽。
Indians who have had to wait an extra three weeks to watch the latest Bond movie were predictably outraged, but soon decided to channel their outrage into more creative uses.
不难推测，在苦等了额外三个星期后，迫切想要观看邦德最新电影的印度影迷们无疑会倍感愤怒。但不久后，他们决定把他们的愤怒以一种更富创造性的方式表达出来。
And thus #SanskariJamesBond was born.
因此，“绅士詹姆斯邦德” 话题应运而生。
The term "Sanskari" translates from the Hindi as "virtuous". So Indian social media users took pains to make James Bond that way. They photoshopped Bond girls out of bikinis, tampered with intimate scenes and put actor Daniel Craig into traditional Indian wear.
“Sanskari”在印地语里是“正直”的意思。所以印度社交媒体用户努力把邦德塑造成“正直”的样子。他们把亲昵镜头中邦女郎的比基尼PS掉，给男演员丹尼尔·克雷格“穿上”传统的印度服饰。
The last laugh though is still on the Indian viewer as the cuts, for now at least, are here to stay.
但谁是最终的胜利者显然取决于印度观众，至少目前来看，删减还是无法避免的。
Less prudish, it appears, are some of India's neighbours.
印度的一些邻国们似乎并不那么假正经。
Spectre has already been released in Pakistan, where the kissing scenes are uncut - although a bedroom scene has been removed. In Sri Lanka, the film is being released with no cuts at all.
《007幽灵党》已经在巴基斯坦上映，并没有删吻戏，只删去了一场床戏。而在斯里兰卡，该影片没有经过任何删减就直接上映。
Vocabulary
chaste：贞洁的；有道德的
hashtag：话题标签
prudish：装正经的；过分规矩的