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20个习惯让你成为幸福的人

2014-02-14 11:14来源:未知
 

I think of myself as the happiest person whenever I walk into a room, and most people notice my smile right away. Here are 20 ways you can find yourself as happy as I am.

1. Let it go.

When someone criticizes you or says something not-so-nice, just forget it. Worse things have been uttered in human history. Even when you know the person meant it, remember that you become stronger by accepting them for who they are and knowing your capabilities.

2. Be kind.

People who are mean and feel the need to put others down are insecure with themselves. But when you are kind to others, kindness returns to you.

3. Think of your problems as challenges.

When you come up against a difficulty, whether a person or an event, consider what your future self will have learned from it. I believe it was Kanye West, or maybe Nietszche, who said, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

4. Express gratitude.

When you let people know that you appreciate them, they are more willing to help you in the future. Saying thank you is more than good manners—it’s karma.

5. Dream big.

The happiest person has reached the highest level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs—self-actualization. If you want to be happy you must work hard to achieve something, and strive to attain that life goal.

6. Speak well of others.

The Buddhist notion of “right thought, right action” is an important one. It’s in the mind that negativity starts. By clearing your head of negative ideas of others, you will clear your mind of problems, worries and fears, and you won’t be tempted to gossip or speak ill and bring that negativity back to you.

7. Be in the now.

Yes, you have to do your laundry and clean the bathroom when you get home, but while you’re here now eating this cheeseburger, just enjoy the cheeseburger. Then apply this lesson to all other moments of pleasure and work—you can deal with the little stuff later.

8. Do not compare yourself to others.

As soon as you start this, you fall into a trap of ego, a grasping at the temporal, fleeting aspects of reality. Instead, think about what you have that makes you happy, or at least satisfied.

9. Realize you don’t need others’ approval.

As long as you do what makes you happy, you don’t need other people to condone your actions. This will free you to act on what you believe, which will instill confidence into your every act.

10. Be honest.

Lies, even little ones, imply that you are willing to be lied to in return. But when you keep your conversation honest, you will maintain a higher level of integrity in your world.

11. Take time to listen.

The happiest person doesn’t interrupt because she knows that if she wants to be heard, she has to listen to others. By listening instead of waiting to speak, you can understand what motivates others, which can help you build rapport with them and understand yourself.

12. Accept what can’t be changed.

Sure, I wish I was taller, smarter, and better looking. But I’m not. As soon as I realized that I wasn’t going to be President of the U.S.A., I figured out what I did want to do with my life: write.

13. Read daily selections from a book of wisdom.

Magazines and newspapers are all well and good, but the reason people throughout history have dedicated their lives to religion and philosophy is because of the wisdom these sacred texts hold. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Bible, Torah or Quran verse, reading these books of wisdom will remind you of what came before and what will come after you.

14. Travel at least two weeks of the year.

It’s even better if it’s foreign travel. Alas, getting out of the country can be expensive. When you go somewhere different, to remind yourself of how people live in places other than those that you’re used to, you will be happy to return to what you have when it’s time.

15. Catch yourself before negativity starts.

Yeah, it’s easy to read the above points and say, okay, I get it. But the hardest part of being happy is realizing when negativity starts to creep into your mind and from there, getting rid of it.

16. Dress well.

You’re only as good as you feel, and you can only feel good if you look good. Personal hygiene, grooming, and fashion enter into this. Rarely will you find someone well-dressed crying by themselves.

17. Enjoy sadness.

John Keats said that in the “temple of delight melancholy has her sovran shrine.” In other words, at the heart of every joy is a glimmer of sadness waiting to shine through. The same goes for sadness—within every pain is a reversal of fortune that will lead you to feel happy again. So when those moments come, enjoy them. They won’t last long.

18. Eat well.

You are what you eat, so if you’re stuffing yourself with cheeseburgers and hot dogs every day, chances are you are overweight and you lack energy and mental clarity. Instead, make sure to eat enough fruit and vegetables, protein and carbohydrates—and indulge in moderation.

19. Keep in touch with your friends and family.

Your family—in most cases—loves you unconditionally. It’s important to keep in touch with them, whether it’s a weekly phone call or an annual visit. Friends too help to inspire and support happy people. Take time out of your week to communicate with them.

20. Be alone.

The happiest person is comfortable spending time by himself. That’s because he loves himself. A lot. He is just as comfortable spending an entire day alone as he is spending it with someone else. You should be too.

 

每当我进入一个房间的时候,我总是认为自己是最幸福的人,大部分的人都会立刻注意到我的微笑。下面是20条习惯,可以让你和我一样幸福。

1.顺其自然

当有人批评你或说你坏话时,别往心里去。人类历史上还发生过比这更糟糕的事情呢。即便你知道这个人不是在开玩笑,记住,学会接受并相信自己的能力会让你变得更强大。

2.待人友善

有些人刻薄,喜欢贬低别人以求得自身的安全感。但当你友善地对待他人时,他们也会用友善回报你。

3.把问题看做挑战

遇到困难时,不论这困难是人还是事,想想你将会从中学到什么。记不清是坎耶维特斯(Kanye West)还是尼采(Nietszche)曾说过,“那些杀不死我的东西,只会让我变更强。”

4.学会表达感谢

时时对人表达感谢之意会使他们在未来更愿意帮助你。说一句“谢谢”不仅仅是礼貌——凡事都有因果报应。

5.理想远大

最幸福的人已经达到马洛斯需求层次的最高层次——自我实现。想要幸福,你就得努力工作取得些成就,并努力实现人生目标。

6.称赞他人

佛语说“思想正确决定行动正确”,这是个很重要的观念。消极情绪是从思想中产生的。清除大脑中对他人的负面想法,就会清除你脑中的问题、担忧与恐惧,这样你就不想八卦或诋毁他人,也不会再把消极情绪带给自己。

7.干什么想什么

是的,你回家后需要洗衣服、打扫浴室,但现在你正在吃奶酪堡,那就好好享受现在的美食。把这个道理应用到其他的娱乐和工作时间——你可以等会儿再完成那些琐事。

8.不要把自己和他人作比较

一旦开始,你便会陷入自我意识的陷阱、世俗的贪婪、即逝的现实。相反,想想你拥有的让你幸福的一切,或者至少让你满意的东西。

9.清楚你不需要他人的认同

只要你的作为让你开心,那么就不需要他人认同的你的行为。这将使你自由地做你信仰的事情,并且一举一动都充满自信。

10.诚信待人

谎言,即使是微不足道的小谎,都暗示着别人也可能对你撒谎。但如果你诚信待人,那么你的世界便会充满诚信。

11.学会倾听

最幸福的人不会打断他人,因为她知道,如果希望有人倾听,首先要学会倾听他人。倾听,而不是找机会说话,你会理解他人的动机,这样可以帮助你与他人建立融洽的关系,并且可以更好地理解自己。

12.不能改变的,学会接受

当然,我希望我可以再高点、聪明点、好看点,但是我不能。当我清楚自己不可能成为美国总统时,我找到了我真正想做的事情:写作。

13.每天读本智慧的书籍

杂志或报纸都是不错的选择。历史上人们把生命奉献给宗教或哲学的原因就是这些神圣语篇里充满智慧。圣经、律法、古兰经都可以,读这些智慧的书籍会提醒你铭记过去憧憬未来。

14.每年至少花两周时间旅行

出国游当然是最好的了。唉,但是出国游非常昂贵。到一个不同的环境,看看那里的生活和你居住的地方有什么不同,这样,旅行结束时你会很开心回到原来的地方。

15.把消极情绪关在门外

是的,以上几条读起来很容易,你会说,好的,我知道了。但是成为一个幸福的人最困难的部分是,知道什么时候消极情绪会涌上心头,并及时的制止。

16.衣着得体

只有自己觉得好才是好,而只有仪表得体时才会自我感觉不错。这包括个人卫生、仪容和服装。你很少遇见衣着讲究的人大喊大叫的。

17.享受悲伤

约翰济慈说过“在快乐居住的殿堂里面,隐匿的忧郁有一至尊的偶像。”换句话说,快乐的中心是一丝忧郁等待发光。反过来也一样,悲伤的中心是运势的转换,引领你再次走向快乐。所以,悲伤来临时,学会享受,它不会待很久的。

18.吃得营养

人如其食,所以如果你每天都吃奶酪堡和热狗,那么很有可能你很胖,并且缺乏活力和清醒的头脑。相反,每天应该多吃蔬菜和水果,摄入足够的蛋白质和碳水化合物——适量最好。

19.常和家人朋友保持联络

大多数情况下,家人对你的爱是无条件的。不论是一周通一次电话还是一年回家探望一次,和家人保持联络是非常重要的。朋友也是幸福之人的鼓励与支持。所以每周花点时间和他们交流交流吧。

20.享受独处

最幸福的人十分享受独处的时间,因为他非常爱自己。自己独处和与别人相处一样舒适愉快。你也应该学会享受独处。

 

 

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